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This was a response to Jess, who wrote:
Have a question for you – and for your wife! I’m not a musician, but I’m engaged to one, and I’ll soon be marrying him! He is one year out of university, and is set on becoming a professional musician. I think he can do it and make a living by doing his music thing. Fully support him. We’re both aware that it may be difficult financially for us, so he is taking as many private students as he can and also is doing a bit of work as a producer (TV, radio ads, stuff like that). I also work, and do not expect him to be our only breadwinner, especially when he wants to be a musician. With both of us working we’ll be able to get by fine. We do want to have kids eventually – but we’re not yet married and will get to that when the time comes.
Basically, I have these four questions I was hoping you could answer. Thanks in advance.
How do you work around the crazy hours he does as a married couple?
What do you do when finances become tight? Should he give up playing for a bit and find more stable work?
How do you balance everything when kids come along?
What do both of you have to do to make the marriage work, as well as us both having careers (and his practice)? I’d love if you could be super honest and blunt here. We don’t mind and would love to hear your views on this.
I know these are big questions, but I’d love it if I knew about some of these things before we get married and live together. I also know it’s hugely personal and what has happened for you guys won’t be the same for us, but I’d still appreciate you taking the time to do this.